GRATITUDE COMES FROM LOVING

IMG_0197.2012-07-31_004936“There is a light in the world, a healing spirit, more powerful than any darkness we may encounter.”  Mother Teresa

Today is another day in the life of Annie…it will be a great day or a terrible day, according to how she awakens and how she chooses for that day to be. It had been eleven years ago to the day that she had lost the love of her life, her soul mate, her destiny, her partner and her best friend. She began to wonder where the years had gone.  She thought about how much her life had changed since that unforgettable day.
Those years began slowly, mainly because she could not control her emotions nor did she even try. She wanted to go away and hide from the world, but her children and friends wouldn’t allow her to do that. Her despair filled her heart with pain and her brain with nothingness. As time passed, memories would seep through and remind her that she was still alive.  During those moments, she reminded herself that he had died. He had slipped away from her on that beautiful day in November, unexpectedly without notice.  God had called him home. Although it was not on Annie’s time schedule nor on his she doubted, he went to be with his Savior, his God, his Redeemer. At first, she was in shock. Her body made the motions, but her mind was dull and void of thoughts. It was like a tornado swirling around her and she was caught up in it and couldn’t get out.
Months went by, then years. Annie learned to cope with the pain and the sadness.The tornado would be down graded as  the years passed but some of it still twirled around her but in a more orderly fashion.   She prayed a lot and asked God for His help. He was the only one who was keeping her alive, functioning. She pleaded for His help and He delivered. She found that though helping others, it began to help her heal. She felt like the light that had gone from her eyes  that had become dull was slowly returning. Life would never be the same, but it began to be good again. She heard herself laughing and talking like she always had. Her always half full glass that had become half empty slowly began to fill up again. She found joy in new ways even though she never stopped missing him. She talked to him every day and  thoughts of him swept through her mind. She could hear him laugh and she could imagine what he would say in different situations.  She knew him so well as if he was the other part of her being.  She learned that you could not erase fifty-four years of memories in one swoop. They would last her a life time, her life time. Annie was happy but it was a different type of happiness from what she had shared with her husband, Jack. Maybe it would be better to say that she was content. One thing she knew was that she was more in tune with her Lord than she had ever been. He had brought her through her dark days and led her through the Valley of the shadow of death. Without Him, she would still be struggling. She yearned for his voice just as a deer pants for water.  He was her rock, her strength, her God and she would praise His name forever and ever. Through Him, all things are possible. Sometimes it takes a tragedy for one to learn this lesson. Some people never learn it because they don’t allow our Lord to do His work.  She knew that God is good.  He is good all the time.  She knew that he had saved her from a life of despair.  All praise and glory is His!  Annie was filled with gratitude that she was one of the people who had learned this lesson.

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